The Hangout

(At rise we see  DADDY and BUB  standing on line to use the restroom during an afternoon baseball game. DADDY is excited, anxious, smiling as the line steadily lurches ahead. His son, BUB, is not.)

BUB

But I don't want to, Daddy.

DADDY

I know; you never want to. But see, it's time to go. Everyone's going to the bathroom now. That's why there's this big ol' line - because so many people are going to the bathroom. Now's the time.

BUB

...

 DADDY

There's nothing to be afraid of, right? It's just like we do at home. Same thing, okay?

BUB

But Dad-dy...

DADDY 

Hey, hey, hey. The game's over, now's when we have to go, just like we talked about, right?

BUB

Mommy said I don't have to --.

DADDY

We're up next. It'll be just like we practice at home, right? Same routine. Hold my hand now. C'mon, Bub...Okay, just stand right here. Let's just wait a sec...

BUB

Daddy, I don't even know --

DADDY

Alright, Bub, now go, just like we practiced.

BUB

(defeated)

So, is this -

DADDY

(jittery)

Louder!

BUB

(loud)

So, is this where all the dicks hang out?

(Laughter. DADDY pumps his fist in the air. He hugs BUB, who smiles sheepishly.)

DADDY

Alright, let's go, Bub. That's my big boy.

BUB

I think I have to go a little now.

DADDY

No, no. This place is gross. We'll be home soon.

CURTAINS