"The Lord Jesus Christ works in mysterious ways when he hands out lower body parts! Some men are blessed with extraordinary length but not much girth. Others have been awarded great girth but less length, and then...there are a select few who are granted the whole wonderful package, girth and length. I'm one of those guys who just got the girth. I wouldn't trade it for nothing - except more length. I know for a fact Jenny Haggleworth was transfixed by my reproductive parts because in some of our more tender and romantic moments she would yell out, 'Show me that stack of pancakes!' or 'Gimme that can of beans!'"
- Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life & Other Musings
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